When Did You Realize?
by RavenclawGirl29
Summary: The moments when Korra and Asami respectively realize they're in love with the other. Inspired by the conversation in Turf Wars.


Every part of Korra's body hurt. She had never imagined so much pain. Was she dead? She remembered fleetingly opening her eyes to see her father holding her, but that seemed so long ago. No. She knew she was alive. She had to be. She felt a soft hand on hers. With a great effort she opened her eyes. She turned her head slightly, her neck was so stiff this simple action nearly made her vomit.

The first thing she saw was the face of the person holding her hand.

"You're awake!" Korra had never heard anyone sound as relieved as Asami did just then. "We've all been so worried."

"Zaheer…" Korra started, feeling panic fight against exhaustion.

"Lin and Su captured him." Asami assured her. "All the of the surviving Red Lotus has been rounded and jailed. You're safe."

He was captured, but still alive. He escaped prison once…

Asami seemed to be able to read Korra's mind. "He's deep underground." She assure the avatar. "Chained and guarded twenty-four-seven. He can't get to you. I promise."

Korra wanted to believe that. She trusted Asami. Even before they were friends, even when they were rivals, Asami had never once lied to her or broken a promise. Korra knew if Asami said she was safe she was safe. But still she couldn't feel comforted. Fear still gripped her as she remembered what it felt like to have the air pulled out of her lungs, helpless and suffocating, certain she was going to die. Asami's other hand touched her shoulder. She didn't say anything this time, but her eyes shown with understanding.

"What about the airbenders?" Korra asked hoarsely.

"By the time we got to them they had already basically freed themselves. They were the ones who created the tornado to get Zaheer away from you."

This news did provide Korra with some small semblance of relief. They were all safe. Her family was safe. It wasn't all in vain.

"I'm supposed to let the others know when you woke up. Your dad's been an absolute wreck worrying."

She should have said yes. It wasn't fair to make her father and everyone else worry any longer. But even if it was just for a moment, the thought of Asami leaving the room. The thought of Korra being totally alone, even for a few moments, was too much for her right now. She found her hand reflexively curling around Asami's. Again, the older girl understood exactly. Someone else would come check in soon, they could spread the word and tell who needed to be told. But for right now Korra needed her best friend by her side.

Two weeks passed. Korra had never thought she could feel this hopeless. She was useless. She couldn't walk. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to again. She was the Avatar. She was supposed to be the one protecting the world. She had opened the spirit portals. She had stopped three revolutions. She was supposed to be the beacon of hope in the world, the bridge between humans and spirits. And now she couldn't walk, she needed people constantly taking care of her. She needed to be fed and bathed and dressed, she couldn't even go to the bathroom without help. At first she was too hurt to even notice. Now that she realized this wouldn't be something she could just bounce back from, she was hurt worse than she had ever been in her entire life and she might not get better, she felt hopeless. Other people tried to tell her to be optimistic. Tenzin, her parents, Bolin, they kept visiting and telling her she'd get better soon, but she couldn't force herself to believe them. She couldn't pull herself out of this void of despair.

The only thing that got her through it was Asami, who had barely left her side. Unlike Tenzin, she didn't spout out zen inspiration about change and trials. Unlike her dad and Mako, she didn't constantly remind her it was just a bump in the road. Unlike Bolin and the kids she didn't look at Korra with naïve optimism and expect all the bad things to just go away. She just stayed by Korra's side and listened. Helped her whenever and whatever she needed, giving encouragement only sparingly. But always at just the right time, and always saying exactly what Korra needed to hear. Korra realized how much Asami meant to her. She had never had a friend like this, someone who understood her so well, someone who cared about her so much, someone who spent almost every waking hour sitting by her bedside so Korra wouldn't have to be alone. It brought up feelings that Korra wasn't even aware she had.

When it was time for Korra's first appearance in public after being poisoned, it was Asami that helped her get ready. Korra sat hopelessly in her wheelchair as Asami's deft hands gently combed through and styled her hair for her. In spite of everything, it felt oddly nice to have someone play with her hair.

When they were at the temple, Asami didn't leave her for a moment, being the one to come up with a believable and polite excuse to leave when she noticed that Korra couldn't take it anymore.

When it was time for Korra to go back home, Asami packed for her and brought her to the docks. Offering to give up everything in Republic City to go to the South Pole for as long as Korra needed to be there. The same way she had given up her family to help fight Amon, the same way she had dropped everything when Korra lost her bending, the same way she had dropped everything to help restore the Air Nation. Korra couldn't ask her to do it again, though she realized that she wanted Asami by her side. Forever. Korra thought she had known what love felt like. She thought she loved Mako once, that that was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. She loved Asami. But she wasn't in a fit state to love anybody right now. She had too many other emotions and problems to figure out love right now. So it was best if she just left. Got away from everyone until she was fit enough to work out what she was feeling.

Snow was falling when Asami got back to her apartment and she saw a letter on her doorstep. The usual anger and annoyance that she usually felt whenever she saw one of her father's letters welled up inside her. She grabbed it as she unlocked the door and was about to throw it in the pile of unopened letters he'd been sending her for the past three years when she noticed the handwriting and her heart did a flip. It wasn't her father's handwriting. It was Korra's.

She sat down at her desk. She'd only received one letter from her friend since she left 18 months ago, and that was just telling her that they had arrived safely home. She knew why. Tenzin had visited a few times and always made an effort to let Asami know how the Avatar's recovering was going. It wasn't going well. Even when progress was being made, it was never as fast as Korra had hoped. The last time he visited he told Asami that Korra was finally walking on her own again, and was starting to go back to training, but she was still frustrated in herself and how long it was taking. She knew Korra must be in a depression. Asami couldn't blame her for it. But she kept writing letters knowing Korra would read them, even if she didn't respond.

Asami yearned to go visit her. She wanted more than anything to see her again. She wanted to see her more than anything in the world. She opened the letter and read.

 _Dear Asami,_

 _I'm sorry I haven't written to you sooner, but every time I've tried, I never know what to say. The past two years have been the hardest of my life. Even though I can get around fine now, I still can't go into the Avatar State. I keep having visions of Zaheer, and what happened that day._

 _Katara thinks a lot of this is in my head, so I've been meditating a lot. But sometimes I worry I'll never fully recover._

 _Please don't tell Mako and Bolin I wrote you and not them. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but it's easier to talk to you about this stuff. I don't think they'd understand._

 _I really hope to see you again soon. I miss you so much. I miss Republic City._

 _Sincerely Korra._

Still, for as short as it was, Asami read it sixteen times. Her heart ached for her friend. She pulled out a piece of paper and a pen right away to write a response.

 _Dear Korra,_

 _I'm so glad to hear from you. But I'm sorry to hear you can't go into the Avatar state. I wish I could offer some help, but I have no idea about any of that. Does Katara have any advice? I remember reading somewhere that Avatar Aang had problems mastering the Avatar State as a kid._

 _I've been thinking a lot these past couple of years too. And I have something I think I need to tell you. It's been bothering me for a long time and I keep wondering if I should tell you. I'm just going to go out as say it._

 _I love you, Korra. I realized it after Tenzin came back and told me you could walk again. I was so happy to hear it and I knew what I felt. But I think I've loved you for a lot longer. I don't know how you feel, and I know this might not be the best time. And I know you're going through so much right now, but I want you to know._

Asami stopped writing. She'd thought about writing this for a long time now, but now that she saw the words on paper they worried her. She should keep writing. Finish the letter. Send it out. Korra should know how she feels.

But what if Korra didn't feel the same way? It's been so long already, what if it scared her away? What if she never came back? Asami would never see her again. She would lose her best friend forever. She sat at her desk for a long time contemplating what to do next.

Finally, she crumpled up the paper and took out a new one. Leaving her confession of love in the waste basket beside her desk.


End file.
